I was remembering back to my 300 pound days. And unfortunately I wasn’t having fond memories of those days, but rather pathetic memories. I was a young woman with young children and my overriding emotion during those 10 years of obesity was tired.
I was always tired. If John were here right now he’d affirm that statement. I always complained about exhaustion and lack of energy – always.
I was too tired to do any of these things:
♦Play with the kids
♦Take a trip to the Nature Museum where I had to walk for any length of time.
♦Ride in the car for longer than 30 minutes.
♦Stand up for any length of time (like waiting in lines)
I was pathetic. And as the years went by and I became more and more obese my feelings of tiredness increased rapidly. I could almost feel getting more tired as the days went by. I’d get up as late as I could get away with in the morning, put on my robe, and feed the kids breakfast. Then I might get dressed or I might lounge around in my PJ’s and robe for a while longer.
I’d shuffle from the kitchen back to the couch, sitting down in both locations to rest and eat. When the kids napped after lunch I’d nap too – only I’d nap after finishing off the box of Cheese Nips that I had just opened that morning. When the kids and I awoke I’d be tired again and just sit and watch them play.
Such was my life. I never associated my weight with my energy level. I would have told you that I was just a tired person in general. But I had never been a tired person before I gained over 100 pounds so I don’t know why I should have all of a sudden developed the tiredness syndrome.
The Weight Was the Problem for Me
Of course the weight was 99% of my problem. Yes, I had small children. Yes, they were busy. But the tiredness and lack of energy were primarily due to my weight and not the children. It’s hard to move around 300 pounds. It takes a lot of effort to keep 300 pounds balanced on two legs for any length of time. No wonder I was tired.
Tiredness was an excuse for me to keep sitting in one place. But thankfully, I did get off the couch and try to move my bulk around. And it wasn’t easy.
Those first months of dieting were an eye opening experience. I hadn’t realized or acknowledged how far away from fitness I had gotten. Those first walks I took – now they made me tired! I came home sweaty (Florida), tired, and hot. But I also came home with a glimmer of internal energy that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.
The Light at the End of the Tunnel
That internal energy was a little spark telling me that I was moving in the right direction. For once in ten years I was making choices that were positive and helpful rather than negative and hurtful. That little spark stayed lit as long as I kept it moving.
Surprisingly to me, I did keep that internal spark alive and kept fanning the flames until I reached my fitness and weight goals. I am still amazed at how quickly my body changed, and how fast my level of fitness improved. Even when I was still 250 pounds, the amount of energy and “get up and go” I had was a far cry from my energy level at 300 pounds. And the energy level increased the more weight I lost and the more fit I became. It was like a miracle.
I hope that if you relate to my life before I lost the weight you are on your own path to finding that internal spark. It’s there in all of us, and will extinguish that “I’m Tired” excuse.
How did you find that internal motivation to improve you energy level and get healthier? Diane