Your body is one smart customer and no matter what you say in your mind, your body knows what you are doing.
When I was 300 pounds, I tried valiantly to trick my body by playing mind games with myself.
Well, I’d reason, If I hide the 50 “fun-size” Trix wrappers in the trash bag then those calories really won’t matter and it will be like I never ate them.
Another scenario:
If I eat half a pan of brownies before breakfast, I can probably burn off all those calories by being more “active” around the house. Then I can still have a lunch and dinner dessert.
And yet another scenario for your enjoyment:
Two extra pieces of pizza really don’t matter because I had a diet coke with them.
No matter what games we play in our minds to justify our food choices, our body knows. It doesn’t talk to us, but it knows. Your body responds to the amount of food you eat as well as the types of foods you eat.
If you eat a lot of junk food, then you often feel junky. Especially if you have eaten a clean diet for any length of time and then stuffed your face with Snickers or hamburgers. (Not that that has ever happened to me. . .)
If you continually eat more calories than your body needs, you will eventually gain weight. Your body knows and responds.
For me, the mind games had to stop completely during my final weight loss journey. I realized that the games were not “working,” I was steadily gaining weight, and I had to put a stop to trying to trick my body.
Quite honestly, this was very, very difficult to do. You may not remember, but I’ve shared before and told the story in my book of ordering the largest entree on the menu instead of the entree that sounded good to me, waiting until I got home from a party to gorge myself with food, and hiding candy in my closet. Those behaviors were very ingrained in my mind and I found myself trying to revert back to those unhealthy and unproductive behaviors many times during my weight loss journey and even into weight maintenance.
At one point during my 14 months of weight loss, I had lost about 50 pounds, and John and I went to an office party. I still remember eating lightly at the dinner party and then heading straight for the refrigerator when John and I got home. He asked me if I was still hungry, to which I replied, “Not really.” He shrugged and went into another room. I stood there with my hand on the refrigerator door handle thinking, “There I go again, trying to act one way in public and then eating in private when no one watches. Who am I fooling?”
Of course I wasn’t fooling anyone and not hurting anyone but myself.
There is no room for unhealthy mind games and attempts to trick your body in weight loss or weight maintenance. The only thing these behaviors do it keep you sucked into the same unhealthy vortex that likely got you in an unhealthy position in the first place.
To stop those behaviors I had to practice, practice, practice. I had to bring into the open unhealthy food behaviors I had and acknowledge that I was standing in my own way when it came to losing weight and getting healthy. It was a process, but well worth the effort.
I’d love to have you share any thoughts you have on how you have stopped playing mind games when it came to eating or any strategies you currently use. Diane
I remember this so well. The denial. I too thought that if no one saw what I ate, that I really did not eat it.
This is something that I’m mentally aware of doing, and yet have zero solution or plan for stopping. I don’t meant o do it, I don’t mean to continue to set myself back, and yet I do…. I’d love to hear what others have tried that has worked. Will check back to see what they say
I only started to realize I was a closet eater a year or so ago. If I ate front of anyone, I never ate much. Watch out when I got home though! Or I would eat before I went out. That way I would not get too hungry waiting for my meal. Seriously…I acted like I was a famine victim who didn’t know where their next meal was coming from.
Now I take my time preparing my meals. I put thought and planning into them. I sit and eat. If I go to a family dinner, I ask what they are having so I can do a calorie count on the food that will be available. One night my mom was having a taco night. There was nothing there I could have, so I brought my own meal. I sat with them and enjoyed myself. They didn’t feel bad, and neither did I.
I have not tried to eat out yet. I am not that confident yet.
Ah, yes, the denial & fooling ourselves! Not only does the bod know in how it feels BUT in how WE feel emotionally AND how the clothes fit. We are only hurting ourselves when we play these games… it is hard, I understand but better to face it & be healthy & happier…
It really comes down to mind-set doesn’t it. How you are ‘programmed’ will determine the actions you take – so whether to eat that extra bit of pizza or not. These habits are formed over time and therefore take time and dedication to change.
All our actions are determined by the ‘self management’ sequence, which goes like this:
Our actions are determined by our feelings. Our feelings are determined by our attitudes. Our attitudes are determined by our beliefs. Our beliefs are built and created from our programming.
This programming refers to everything we have said to ourselves, everything people have said to us, everything we see, hear, and do. It all adds up to create these ‘subjective realities’ that we live in…the way that we see the world that is different to the way others do.
So when it comes to eating habits, this is all created from all of our experiences, and it takes time to change this around and develop new, healthy eating habits that will allow us to get slim, and stay there. This is clearly what Diane has achieved and thats fantastic…and it just shows what can be done when consistency and determination is applied.
Right now it has been 5 days of just good eating for me. That means less fat, less sugar and more whole grains and veggies. My body is completely different form 5 days ago. I feel slimmer, less bloated and my joints are not achy. Our bodies do know even if no one sees. Great post Diane!
Yep, it’s amazing how good we are at self-deceit. It is, of course, comforting, because it keeps our definition of our selves in apparent equilibrium with reality. We will go through great lengths before we make any corrections. For me it changed when I one day took a long, hard look at myself (quite literally) and concluded, “whatever you did so far, it didn’t work, did it?”
I played the diet coke game with my combo meals for years. It was very difficult, but I just gave up soda pop. I made the permanent switch to coffee. I’ll have a sip once in a while from my wife’s cup, but can honestly say I haven’t drank an entire soda pop in nearly a year now. The same can be said for French fries. I gave them up when I gave up soda pop.
I think it all comes down to how your body feels. I can play mindgames with myself that the pizza I ate won’t be stored as body fat cause I ran this morning but my body will call my BS. After I eat that pizza I’m gonna feel sluggish and fat and I can’t convince my body otherwise.
For me, it’s hiding candy. I love gummy candy of all kinds, and there are several markets that sell a dozen varieties of Haribo within walking distance of my condo. I hide them in my wardrobe and only eat them when my husband isn’t home. My rationale is that I spend most of my life pleasing other people, following the rules, and being a good girl who never loses her temper or makes a mistake. Eating junk food in secret is my time to be “bad” and to do something I enjoy without judgement about how wrong it is. Of course, as you said, I can’t fool my body.
Ooh. SO much truth. It sounds so stupid when you write it out like that (sorry! Not trying to be rude), but it’s funny — as much as I want to say I would never try to “lie” to my body or myself, I have been there. SO many times.
For me it’s been a bit of a journey, but what has helped me has been a series of talking out about my closet problems and tracking my food. I use http://www.myfitnesspal.com to track what I eat, and I made sure to make friends on the site and make my food diary public. Then I committed to just logging everything that I eat. Eventually the “audience” to my eating every day reminded me to keep making choices I could be proud of. The funny thing with that is, now when I have a treat I plan for it, enjoy it thoroughly, and can log it without guilt knowing that I answer to no one but myself now (despite the audience). It’s like the accountability to others has made me mostly accountable to just myself. Less justification, more enjoyment.
Speaking truth about my bad habits helps too. The number on the scale isn’t a secret anymore – I tell my husband about my weigh ins. My compulsion to eat secretively I have told to my weight-loss buddies and my husband, and I’ve resolved to eat publicly. Even when I eat badly, there’s no hiding wrappers or bags from the donut shop
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Taking the secrecy out of things has taken some of the shame out of it too! Plus, now that I’m seeing results, it’s very motivating
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GREAT post, because it’s (obviously) oh so true. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.
I have no good answers, because I’m back on the journey again.
This sounds like me! I lost 56 pounds and feel so much better and for some reason I have started to eat things I know are not good for me. When I was losing all this weight, I wouldn’t touch the sweets and junk food, now I eat it when no one is looking thinking those calories don’t count. Where is that coming from? So silly of me! Think I eat my dinner before dinner is served then eat more!! I am so afraid of gaining weight back, then I keep eating!! Well, I hope my brain will start to get the message that I should stop!!
I am starting counseling next week to address this problem.
I still battle with this mindset and I have to take it one food choice at a time. I can follow my plan for most of the day and then when I come home, the grazing will start. I feel bad after I eat all these unplanned choices and somedays are better than others. One of the best ways I am tackling this problem is by staying busy and getting out of the kitchen as soon as I am done.
Dear Diane, your post is very heart wrenching and yet very healing for me to read, I was crying by the end of it. Thank you so much for your honesty and plain speaking. I really needed to hear this and I didn’t even realize it. I have been reading your posts for over a year now and really appreciate your journey and admire you so much,and when you say “Those behaviors were very ingrained in my mind and I found myself trying to revert back to those unhealthy and unproductive behaviors many times during my weight loss journey and even into weight maintenance.” it makes me realize so much. This has been me for the past year! I truly thought it was just me that this could happen to….I cannot thank you enough for this post…I do not feel so alone or lost now. I guess it truly is, one moment at a time.
Hi Diane – hope you’re well. I’ve missed reading blogs!
Should I admit that I’m a natural at playing mind games with myself? We all do it now and then. The extent to which I tell myself that “it’s okay” to just indulge everyday on things only because I feel stressed out – it’s the only thing that doesn’t stress me out at a given point of time – is ridiculous. Only to realize later that my previously harmless-seeming mind games are what’s causing me weight stress…vicious cycle!
Thanks for a great post
I’ve definitely been in this situation. Battling the “It’s just one piece” mentality to the shrug of “I don’t care” has been tough. I don’t always make the healthiest choices, but I am aware of what I’m doing and I force myself to think – if you have this chocolate be sure to realize what that extra sugar and caffeine is going to do to your body. This awareness (that I developed during the Whole Life Challenge) has been life-changing!
Love this post, Diane. My personal favorite: Two extra pieces of pizza really don’t matter because I had a diet coke with them.
Yeah, how many times have I played that game? Lots! I often play it with candy. I can’t have chocolate, because that is obviously bad, but I can have licorice, because its not chocolate. Really? Did my body care which substance I used to kill myself? Or did it just care that I was slowly killing myself? Thankfully, those days are in my past. I don’t play these games anymore. My body has convinced me that there are ramifications for what I do with food, whether that food is sweet, salty, creamy or crunchy.
I also identify with a common side affect of addiction–after a while, one needs more and more of the stuff to get that same high, and eventually, no amount of it does the trick. I got sick and tired of trying to get high off food and having it not work. Oh, and feeling like bloated road kill all day long. My body knew, and quite honestly, so did every one else. You don’t weigh over 300 lbs and not make an impression.
I’m glad to have you here, blogging about your success. Thanks for another great posting. You rock!!!
Thank you! Most of do play these games don’t we? I used to do the same thing when John and I got triple cheeseburgers and “diet coke.” Who was I kidding?
I am soooo guilty. Almost every time I go on a diet I’ll stop at night at a gas station and buy 3 or 4 candy bars. Then I’ll eat them before I get home hoping my wife doesn’t see. It’s as if I think it doesn’t count if no one knows but me.
None of that this time. I’m putting my weekly weigh-in on the web for everyone to see. The scale knows when you cheat.