Anyone who has a blog probably smiles sometimes at the search terms people use to find their blog. I get a lot of crazy search terms like “dentist, hot tea, summer jumping, funny things to talk to fat people about,” etc.
One term that keeps coming up is this: “Is it rude to tell someone they are overweight?”
My simple answer to this is: “Yes.”
Yes, it is rude to tell someone they are overweight, unless you are a doctor talking to a patient. They probably get a pass although I personally never wanted to talk about my weight with my doctor or anyone else.
I personally had people tell me I was overweight when I weighed over 250 pounds. They would ask me if I knew I was overweight. And then they would share with me their ideas on how I could stop being overweight. (Really.)
Each time someone told me about my weight I politely nodded, smiled, and tried not to show how much he or she had hurt my feelings. You see – I already knew I was overweight. I knew exactly what I weighed and what size I wore. I didn’t need anyone to tell me about my weight.
It’s one of those questions that drove me crazy and bothered me most right after this question: “When are you due?” I cannot even tell you how many times someone asked me how much longer I had until the baby came when I wasn’t even pregnant at all.
It was very hurtful and even though I knew they did not mean to hurt my feelings – they still did.
It was hard to get over, although there was an upside in the end. I think having to answer those questions or listen to someone share how I should lose weight made extra sensitive to other people’s weight problems.
As a side note, I never ask a woman when she is due unless she first tells me she’s pregnant. I obviously never, ever tell someone they are overweight or give them unasked for advice. I know how awful that feels and never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone.
Are you ever surprised how free people seem to be when it comes to talking about someone else’s weight? Diane